One Plus Two Plus Two Plus One.

Ridley Scott is supposedly working on producing a live- action movie based on Parker Brothers' classic game Monopoly.  And when I first found out about it, I remember thinking, "Wha??? How in the hell is that going work? That's more ridiculous than John Woo directing a new movie version of The Flash." (See, because John Woo directs just about everything in slow-motion, and it wouldn't.....never mind.)

Then I remembered that this has been done before.

Here's a nostalgic turn.  I'm going to wax ecstatic about a guilty pleasure of mine.  Clue: The Movie was the first major motion picture based on a board game. For the 3 of you that don't remember and instead decided to shout, shout and let it all out in 1985, the game involved a murder and six colorful suspects. Players eventually had to solve the crime, which was committed by such weapons as a wrench, gun, or a knife.  (Three weapons I'd like to use on Joel Schumacher for what he did to the Batman franchise.)

Clue was an absolute flop in the theater which nobody saw.  I remember when it started coming on cable and a review in the TV Guide gave it one and a half stars and stated, "Was it Mrs. Peacock in the study with a candlestick?...Do you care?"

I never saw Clue in the theater.  I received it on VHS for Christmas in 1988, and the thing about it is that you don't really appreciate it the first time you see it.  There's so much going on that it's not until you watch it again that the real comedic roots embedded into it become unleashed at full-force. Quotes, comedic nuances, and jokes you may have missed the first time show up upon repeated viewings. Plus this film had a gimmick, which was three different endings, and you could pick the theater which was showing the ending you wanted to see. All three were included on VHS and later on the DVD.

The cast is excellent.  All the actors  play their roles so well and play off the comic timing with such sheer perfection that you can't imagine anyone else filling the shoes .  Tim Curry's Wadsworth the butler, always maintaining (well, almost) his cool, British persona, seems such a far cry away from his Rocky Horror's Dr. Frank-N-Furter.  Spinal Tap alum Michael McKean is a hoot as Mr. Green, Christopher Lloyd now plays a Prof (not a Doc?), along with Martin Mull, Lesley Anne Warren, and Eileen Brennan adding hilarity support en masse. But it's Madeline Kahn's Mrs. White who is the real surprise here, as she plays the character with a sense of sadness and madness both executed in such a manner that you can't help but laugh. (Who can forget "Flames....on the side of my face....")?

The sad thing is if Clue was remade today (and the studios ARE working on that), we would probably get a cast consisting of Shia Leboffo (whatever, I don't care about spelling it right), Zac Efron, Kim Kardashian, and, at the rate she's descending, perhaps Lindsay Lohan could play the part of the dead body.

Just for fun, here are my picks for the cast of a Clue remake:

Wadsworth - Ricky Gervais
Colonel Mustard - Sacha Baron Cohen
Miss Scarlet - Kate Beckinsale
Mr. Green - Steve Carell
Mrs. White - Helena Bonham Carter
Mrs. Peacock - Bonnie Hunt
Professor Plum - Ed Helms
Yvette - Scarlett Johansson
Mr. Boddy - Albert Brooks

Some of you folks can probably think of better people, so....sorry if this isn't up to 100% comedic standards and practices.  (And yes, I realize I have three Office alums, what's it to you? Can you imagine the in-jokes?)


Clue: The Movie, 1985
Grade: A